A middle management executive has to take on some sport, by his doctor's orders, so he decides to play tennis. After a couple of weeks his secretary asks him how he's doing. "It's going fine" the manager says. "When I'm on the court and I see the ball speeding towards me, my brain immediately says, 'To the corner! Back hand! To the net! Smash! Go back!'"

"Really? What happens then?" the secretary asks.

"Then my body says, 'Who? Me? You must be kidding!'"

Q: What do you serve but not eat?
A: A Tennis Ball.

Depends who's serving of course!

After a 2 year study, the National Science Foundation announced the following results on Britain's recreational preferences:

1. The sport of choice for unemployed or incarcerated people is: basketball
2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is: bowling
3. The sport of choice for blue-collar workers is: football
4. The sport of choice for middle management is: tennis
5. The sport of choice for corporate officers is: golf

Conclusion: The higher you rise in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become.

Q: Why should you never fall in love with a tennis player?
A: To them, "Love" means nothing.

Please don't let me be so nervous
When I toss the ball for service.

Give me speed and strength unhalting,
Aces and no double-faulting.

Instill in me the skill and dash
Of Agassi, Williams, Roddick and Ashe.

When a high lob starts to fall,
Must I always miss the ball?

Lord, I know you could, I'm sure,
Find me a Tennis Elbow cure.

With the guidance from above,
Never let me fall in 'love.'

And, Lord, while on matters of this sort
Please let me find an open court!!

While out one morning in the park, a jogger found a brand new tennis ball, and seeing no one around it might belong to, he slipped it into the pocket of his shorts. Later, on his way home, he stopped at the pedestrian crossing, waiting for the lights to change.

A blonde girl standing next to him eyed the large bulge in his shorts. "What's that?" she asked, her eyes gleaming with lust.

"Tennis ball," came the breathless reply.

"Oh," said the blonde sympathetically, "that must be painful.... I had tennis elbow once."

A school teacher told her students that if they could answer a question on Friday afternoon before they left for the weekend, then they wouldn't have to attend classes on Monday. The teacher asked her class, "Okay, kids, how many grains of sand are on a beach?"

Well, none of the kids had the answer, as suspected. The teacher expresses with a grin, "Have a good weekend everyone, and we'll see you all on Monday morning!"

The following Friday, Little Johnny brought two freshly painted black tennis balls to class. That afternoon, the teacher said, "Okay, kids, it's time for our question..."

Little Johnny quickly threw the two black tennis balls at the teacher. Shocked, she insisted "All right, who's the comedian with the two black balls?"

Little Johnny replied, "Lenny Henry, see you on Tuesday teacher!"